Здесь можно задать вопрос, оставить мнение и, пожалуй, всё. Всё, что угодно.
— I've invented this game, Brixton check this out, alright? I've invented a game called “Pelt The Rabbit In His Big White Face”! Genius! I know, the title alone is pretty cool, but wait - til you hear what happens - you're in here, right, or wherever, by the windmill doesn't matter and this massive rabbit comes in, he's got really massive face, he's a freak, he's like that - and he's quite tall he's like six foot - and he comes running towards you and you've gotta like leg it and get away from him or like pelt him with coins or sunflower seeds or take your Chelsey boot off and just take him out.
Cos if he catches you he just throws you on the floor and rapes you.
— That's not a game, is it? Really that... That's just a sequence of events. A sequence of horrific events. Culminating in a rape. Where's the game elements?
— Yeah, but it's not an ordinary rape! It's a rabbit rape! It's a terrific bunny-bumming!
— From MB Games? What? There's no strategy!
— Of course there's a strategy!
— Why? What is it?
— Well, you know, the thing with it is you never know when he's gonna come, do you? When he's gonna arrive, easy! He might come in an hour, he might come in two hours, he might come in month, he might come in a year, he might come in fourteen minutes! What if he's ill? He's got a brother looks exactly like him! He's the worse of the two if anything - he's more powerful and vigorous. You'll never get away from him. If it's his brother, you might as well just sit down put up the white flag.
Arnold Schwarzenegger is the governor of California. There's a perfectly ordinary English sentence. How did that happen!? Do you know how that happened? 'Cause I'll tell you. Do you know how he got into that position? He got there... by lifting things. Now, you and me, we avoid lifting things; It's unpleasant. Especially heavy things. Even a five-year-old child knows this. He'll go "No, ha ha, fuck it, no, I'll go and stick Lego up my arse, I'm not doing that, no no." He took a different approach. He lifted the heavy - and you know, you lift something if you have to. Piano falls on granny, you lift the piano… 'cause Granny has mixed feelings about the whole situation. Sunday lunch continues. He didn't do any of that. He went over to the heavy thing, and lifted it, and put it back down and didn't move it anywhere... and then he did it again, hundreds of times, and he said to people who stopped to observe this aberrant behaviour, "Look how good I am... at lifting the heavy thing, in my underpants." Now that may seem a little dim. But it was they who said "You're the man. You're the one we want to deal with immigration, and water rates, and taxes, and all that kinda shit." But wait — what we need to know is, how bad was his predecessor at that job? This must've been someone who came to work covered in children's blood every morning.
— Dylan Moran
“But before you die, its great if you can meet the other person who you’re supposed to share this mystery with. And you know when that happens, I think. Because you often meet that person at a particular time in your life, sometimes when you’re young and poor. Y’know, when you’ve been living in a room, but you’re both living in rooms where you have all your shit cos you’re poor.
And it’s lit by candlelight, and you climb the stairs to that person’s room - they’ve been to your room, now you’re going to theirs - it’s serious. And you’re standing opposite that person, and there is a moment when you realise you’re not looking at an expression of fleeting lust, or some sort of passing of the time in the surrounding befuddlement. Where you know each other and you know you want to be together. And you realise it, and it’s an amazing moment.
The other person is actually taking their clothes off in front of you, smiling from the very middle of themselves at you, saying ‘I want to be with you’. And you’re looking at them with their bare shoulders shimmering in this rosiette candlelight, and you realise this is the person for you.”
— Dylan Moran
— Вы знаете, Адам, новость — на каждого гражданина давит столб воздуха силою в двести четырнадцать кило!
— Нет, — сказал Козлевич, — а что?
— Как что! Это научно-медицинский факт. И мне это стало с недавнего времени тяжело. Вы только подумайте! Двести четырнадцать кило! Давят круглые сутки, в особенности по ночам. Я плохо сплю. Что?
— Ничего, я слушаю, — ласково ответил Козлевич.
— Мне очень плохо, Адам. У меня слишком большое сердце.
"Вчера на улице ко мне подошла старуха и предложила купить вечную иглу для примуса. Вы знаете, Адам, я не купил. Мне не нужна вечная игла, я не хочу жить вечно. Я хочу умереть."
"Золотой Теленок", Ильф и Петров
Иногда, когда мне особенно скучно, грустно, некому лапу подать или хочется умереть, я вспоминаю (и очень правильно делаю) чёрт-его-знает-сколько-летнего мальчика по имени Шон из города Претория. И я улыбаюсь широко, вспоминая о нём. Еду ли в метро, иду ли по улице, сижу ли за столом - улыбаюсь во всё лицо. Если бы в тот солнечный субботный полдень, именно в тот момент, когда Шон проводил меня до порога, и я вышла на улицу, абсолютно счастливая, и пошла по Воздвиженке, пялясь исключительно выше своей головы, если бы именно тогда экран потемнел и пошли титры, я бы не пожалела.
Вот они, наверное, какие - рождественские чудеса.
Я сижу в кровати, ем диетическую, но при этом жутко калорийную лапшу из красивой тарелки деревянными палочками, страдаю от боли в районе левой лопатки и хочу обниматься. И так вот уже почти 24 года.